I donâ€™t think Jennifer Aniston is that hotâ€¦I mean not now at 100 fucking years old, and not when she was on Friendsâ€¦
I think people were only responsive because she had fat tits and hard nipples while on a hit show, when hit shows matteredâ€¦
I figure if sheâ€™s not good enough for Brad Pitt, sheâ€™s not good enough for me, throw her out like last weekâ€™s kitchen garbage, shitty sitcom starâ€¦
But Iâ€™ll still look at her dried up, menopausal, not good enough for anyone to marryâ€¦.titsâ€¦in Allureâ€™s January issueâ€¦
Posted by Photo Boy
Fish and I have historicallyÂą held differing opinions on Jennifer Aniston. I find her attractive, while he prefers the company of his illustrated books and his things. *watches him rearrange figurines on his desk for Tuesday positioning* What we both agree on, however, is that it’s kind of ridiculous to discuss feminism, Hollywood sexism, and body issues in between talking points about beauty products. No, really. Via Allure:
When asked why the word “feminism” is so complicated, Aniston is direct: “Because people overcomplicate it. It’s simply believing in equality between men and women. Pretty basic.” She’s not shy about her thoughts on motherhood, either. “I don’t like [the pressure] that people put on me, on womenâ€”that you’ve failed yourself as a female because you haven’t procreated. I don’t think it’s fair. You may not have a child come out of your vagina, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t motheringâ€”dogs, friends, friends’ children.”
I’m leaving the “mothering-dogs” thing alone, because Jesus, but that paragraph is literally followed directly by this topic:
“It’s nice when something works and does what it says it’s going to do,” she says of the new products. [Ed Note: Her line of beauty products. She's selling shit to you now.] “A bad-hair day really can set you off on the wrong foot, as can many other things, but it’s nice when you get the good hair down because that way you can focus on all the other things that are going wrong.”
But before this veers into the land of â€śYar! Menâ€™s rights! Feminism is for cunts!!â€ť let me just say NO! Stop that. That is not at all what I meant. I’m simply pointing out that celebrities are beautiful dummies and we shouldn’t get too crazy when they try to talk about adult stuff. We should just smile through our teeth and nod, because it would just be cruel to shatter their world.
“Ms. Aniston, we’ve got a great idea for a Christmas-themed shot. We’ll be set up here in a sec.”
“Wait, how did that man’s beard come off? Is he..is SANTA NOT REAL?!! *runs away screaming*
ÂąIf you honestly came down here looking for footnoted evidence of whether or not Fish and I have an ongoing argument about Jennifer Aniston’s hotness, please, for the love of God, go outside. There are other humans out there. Look into their eyes and talk to them. This is what you need now.
Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, VPA/AKM-GSI